Sexual Healing, Makes Me Feel So Fine

“Sexual Healing, Makes Me Feel So Fine”

If you ever want some sexual healing, you should head over to the “Burning Man Art Festival” outside Reno Nevada where self-expression, experimentation and healing is prominent. This year approximately 27,000 tickets were sold. That is a lot to work with if you are looking for a good time.

            After some relationship complications, one young couple decided to give “Burning Man” a shot. I would describe this couple as tree hugging, life loving and consciousness praising college students who should be looking for a more practical major than philosophy instead of experimenting at an art festival. If not for career prospects, than for their mental health.

            “Burning Man” was quite the experience for Tom and his girlfriend. After some dancing and chanting, they decided they needed some “sexual healing.”  Having insecurities about his performance, Tom sought higher guidance. There, he found the master, Dr. Love, and his girlfriend was along for the ride.

            “I am uncomfortable with the thought of being with a man,” said Tom while talking to Dr. Love and his girlfriend. They were taken aback. They were not, by any means, on the topic of homosexuality. Dr. Love did not take his statement lightly. In fact, he saw it as a green light to jump on the bandwagon.

 “I am sensing a lot of sexual tension,” said Dr. Love to the couple. “I think we should explore this further. We cannot ignore this problem.” Tom and his girlfriend were having problems, so they were all ears. Next thing they knew, they all went into bed together and began to cuddle.

“I am sensing some jealous energy,” said Dr. Love, as he pet Toms girlfriend. “Yeah, maybe I am a little jealous,” said Tom confusedly. As if being a little jealous that some man fondling your girlfriend is a serious issue that needs addressing.

            Part two of the healing process was the admiration of the penis. “You need to value the true power that the penis withholds,” said Dr. Love. “I want you to put your pants down, observe your penis, and recognize the power of its procreation and its power to please. The penis is a tool for pleasure, holding the deepest power of your consciousness, as well as its past traumas within it.” Dr. Love was obviously preying on their vulnerability. Tom and his girlfriend were deeply involved in his words. I don’t know how they fell for it, but they weren’t hesitant in trusting him.

“Now, go and use the power of your penis to help that girl,” said Dr. Love, pointing to an obviously depressed girl sitting on a tree stump. Tom looked at her and back at his girlfriend. After his girlfriends undeniably foolish, but expected consent to please the girl for the “sake of her healing,” he gave her some of that “unrestricted power of his penis,” with her consent as well. If all went as planned, I am sure the girl is floating around in ecstasy, relieved that all of her ailments were healed through the power of the penis.

Now, Tom and his girlfriend are in a “Polyamorous relationship.” A romanticized way of saying “I am screwing other people and we both know about it so it is ok.” Dr. Love convinced them that it is only fair they share their sexuality with others. “Since you give your love to one another, why shouldn’t you share that love with those who may really need it?” said Dr. Love. Tom and his girlfriend took this very seriously, being very enthusiastic about their newfound “Polyamorous” relationship title. There was even a sexual workshop run by Dr. Love later that day, and I am sure they are now his newfound poster children.

“I never explored my sexual energy with Emma from college,” said Tom. Which is basically another way of saying, “I want to get with this hot girl from school.” Now in days people either take sex too lightly or too severely. In their case, they are putting sex on a throne and bowing down to it. At least someone is getting some. Ill just sit at home and write about it.