“Bianca, I need to talk to you about nonna,” said nonno rather seriously in the car today. I knew exactly what he was going to say before it came out of his mouth and I was already bored. “You know that nonna isn’t young anymore, “ he said. “She is tired, so you need to keep your room cleaner. She doesn’t have the energy to clean like she used to.”
My room is messy? Again? But I just cleaned the damn thing. Only one of my friends has a room half as neat as mine, and that is because she has a live in nanny. But I have a live in nonna and it’s different. She yells at me before taking charge.
Really, I literally almost vomit every time I step into my friend Audrey’s room. I almost vomit because once after taking my shoes off, I stepped in her cats vomit. Now I have post cat vomit disgust disorder. If nonna ever saw this girl’s room she would have a nervous breakdown. She wouldn’t let the girl into my house. I am more open minded however, realizing some people don’t have the luxury of living with an Italian nonna who is also a Virgo. Italian and Virgo, the recipe for obsessive compulsive cleaning disorder. It is annoying that I am constantly reprimanded as a result of someones delusions.
Now, if you think my room is messy in the slightest think again. All of my friends joke about how my room is so neat it’s scary and also, I’m never home to mess it up. After being away for days I don’t understand how I get phone calls from nonna complaining about how “clothes are in the way" but I think this is just a bribe to lure me home.
You know, sometimes I wish they would teach me more important things like how to drive or how to avoid heartbreak, but no... it’s always, “Bianca, let me teach you something. See this… watch carefully… now this is how you fold a sweater.” I don’t care about the sweater! Actually, there is nothing I would rather learn less than how to fold a sweater. Once I folded a sweater the “right way” and nonna almost threw a party she was so happy. As if being the first person in my family to graduate college wasn’t big enough of a deal for her, she needed to know that I could fold a sweater to feel any sense of satisfaction. This I find annoying and a blow to my accomplishments.
I now take my clothes folding ways with me wherever I go. I think it is a nervous habit actually, because I’m always nervous. Usually, after ripping my clothes off, I don’t throw them into the distance like normal people… instead I pause to place them neatly by the bedside. All of that build up for me to stop and make sure my clothes are in place. What a mood kill.
Other than that, I am also the go to person when my friends need help cleaning their room. Strangely enough, I find helping with their rooms to be rather enjoyable. It gives me a sense of power I think. Like all of nonnas cleaning lessons have not gone to waste. Maybe nonna would even be proud. But the truth is, I don’t know shit about cleaning rooms. I am still learning from nonna.
P.s If you need a professional cleaning lady there is a really great woman across the street I can refer you just reply to the post with your contact information.
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