Seeking Personal Assistant

Now in days, people are so desperate for work they will do anything. I just saw a post on Craigs List looking for girls with pretty feet to entertain men with foot fetishes. That really creeped me out, but to each his own right?

I was recently inspired to create my own job post. If these people can post such ridiculous jobs, why can't I?  If interested, email me a biography of yourself at biancolina89@gmail.com.

SEEKING PERSONAL ASSISTANT

I am a 22 year old dancer, writer and intern seeking a personal assistant. My day is very busy, filled with internships, dance practice and writing in my notepad whenever inspiration hits.

I am looking for someone who is EXTREMELY open minded, creative, patient, a good driver, and able to do hair and makeup.

I would need you to come to my house in Queens at around 8am every morning to help me pick out an outfit. This won't require too much work on your part, being I have a pretty nice wardrobe.
The hardest part however, would be doing my hair. I like elaborate hair styles, with braids, curls, etc. If you aren't good with cool hair styles, please don't respond to this post. As far as makeup is concerned, I can handle that on my own. Maybe I will need you to do some smokey eyes, but that's about it.

A great perk is, you don't have to worry about breakfast or lunch, my grandparents will take care of that for us. They are Italian and make delicious home cooked meals. They can whip up anything in about 15 minutes so really, you are getting a lot for your time.

Now, I would need you to drive me places. I have a purple ford escort that gets a lot of attention on the road so you can't be shy. The truth is, I hate driving, so this is an important part of the job. If you have a problem driving, DO NOT REPLY. I need a car lover for the job. You won't have to drive far, just from Queens to Manhattan once or twice a day. I would like to be driven to work and then around Manhattan for a bit until you drive me home after work.

The hardest part will probably be dealing with my self absorbed nature. I will talk about myself a lot, ask you to read my writing regularly and try to make you laugh. Now, I do not want you to fold under pressure. You need to be strong. If you don't think a joke is funny, do not laugh because my career is at stake. I would prefer someone who has writing experience for the job, honestly.

I will also sing a lot because that is a repressed passion of mine, but please don't gas my head up by telling me I'm a wonderful singer when I'm really just mediocre. I am a bit manic and tend to get overly excited about things so next thing you know, I will audition for American Idol. I don't want that to happen. It is a waste of my time and yours.

As far as dancing is concerned I would like you to attend all of my dance performances for moral support. I need help with wardrobe, hair and makeup. I also need someone to make sure food is always available, because I am always hungry. I would prefer someone with a lot of energy and enthusiasm for the job, because I like a lot of praise after performances.

If you have any experience in psychotherapy, I will pay you extra.

Other than that, I don't really know what else I need from a personal assistant.

Compensation is based on your experience. I will be holding auditions soon. Email me if interested.

Thank you